Love don't cost a thing.....or does it?
- bluerosewellnesscoach
- Feb 13, 2023
- 8 min read
Love.
It's February 13th, a mere day away from the beloved Valentine's Day we celebrate here in the states. Honestly? There is quite a bit of history about Valentine's Day, from pagan, to Roman, to Christian roots, and honestly, other than Valentine's Day day being full of my favorites (roses , chocolates, and hearts), I could honestly care less. Why? Because to me, love isn't defined by a saint or a culture.
Today, you can park next to any car at the grocery story and see a "love is love is love" bumper sticker. TBH? What the hockey sticks does that even mean?!!
I've done some blogging before on the different definitions of love, but being "V" day is right around the corner, what better time to do a little deeper dive?!
Did you know, that in the Greek language, there were eight, yes EIGHT, words defining different kinds of love?
From the website dictionary.com:
eros
Original Greek: ἔρως (érōs)
Eros is physical love or sexual desire. Eros is the type of love that involves passion, lust, and/or romance.
Examples of eros would be the love felt between, well, lovers. Eros is the sensuallove between people who are sexually attracted to each other. In the Bible, eroswas synonymous with “marital love” because husbands and wives were supposed to be the only people having sex. Eros was also the name of a love god in Greek mythology—better known by his Roman name, Cupid—and was the guy responsible for shooting magic arrows at people to make them fall in love.
The word eros is still used in psychology today to refer to sexual desire or the libido. The words erotic and erogenous, which both have to do with sexual desire or arousal, are derived from eros.
phili
Original Greek: ϕιλία (philía)
Philia is affectionate love. Philia is the type of love that involves friendship.
Philia is the kind of love that strong friends feel toward each other. However, it doesn’t stop there. The Greek philosopher Plato thought that philia was an even greater love than eros and that the strongest loving relationships were ones wherephilia led to eros: a “friends become lovers” situation. Our concept of platonic love—love that isn’t based on physical attraction—comes from this Platonic philosophy.
The word philia is related to the word philosophy through the combining form philo-. Philia itself is the source of the combining forms -philia, -phile, and -phily, all three of which are used to indicate a figurative love or affinity for something.
agape
Original Greek: ἀγάπη (agápē)
Agape is often defined as unconditional, sacrificial love. Agape is the kind of love that is felt by a person willing to do anything for another, including sacrificing themselves, without expecting anything in return. Philosophically, agape has also been defined as the selfless love that a person feels for strangers and humanity as a whole. Agape is the love that allows heroic people to sacrifice themselves to save strangers they have never met.
❤️Did you know ... ? Agape is a major term in the Christian Bible, which is why it is often defined as “Christian love.” In the New Testament, agape is the word used to describe the love that God has for humanity and the love humanity has for God. Agape was also the love that Jesus Christ felt for humanity, which explains why he was willing to sacrifice himself.
storge
Original Greek: στοργή (storgé)
Storge is familial love. Storge is the natural love that family members have for one another.
Of all of the types of love, storge might be the easiest to understand. It is the type of love that parents feel toward their children and vice versa. Storge also describes the love that siblings feel towards each other, and the love felt by even more distant kin relationships, such as a grandparent for a grandchild or an uncle toward a niece.
mania
Original Greek: μανία (manía)
Mania is obsessive love. Mania is the kind of “love” that a stalker feels toward their victim.
As a type of love, mania is not good, and the Greeks knew this as well as we do. Mania is excessive love that reaches the point of obsession or madness. Maniadescribes what a jilted lover feels when they are extremely jealous of a rival or the unhealthy obsession that can result from mental illness.
The Greek mania is the source of the English word mania and similar words like maniac and manic. It is also the source of the combining form -mania, which is often used in words that refer to obsessive behavior such as pyromania and egomania.
ludus
Original Latin: Bucking the trend, the word ludus comes from Latin rather than Greek. In Latin, lūdus means “game” or “play,” which fits with the type of love it refers to. One possible Greek equivalent is the word ερωτοτροπία, meaning “courtship.”
Ludus is playful, noncommittal love. Ludus covers things like flirting, seduction, and casual sex.
Ludus means “play” or “game” in Latin, and that pretty much explains what ludus is: love as a game. When it comes to ludus, a person is not looking for a committed relationship. People who are after ludus are just looking to have fun or view sex as a prize to be won. A “friends with benefits” situation would be an example of a relationship built on ludus: neither partner is interested in commitment. Of course, ludus may eventually result in eros—and hopefully not mania—if feelings of passion or romance emerge during the relationship.
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pragma
Original Greek: πράγμα (prágma)
Pragma is practical love. Pragma is love based on duty, obligation, or logic.
Pragma is the unsexy love that you might find in the political, arranged marriages throughout history. This businesslike love is seen in relationships where practicality takes precedence over sex and romance. For example, two people may be in a relationship because of financial reasons or because they have more to lose by breaking up than staying together.
Pragma may even involve a person tolerating or ignoring their partner’s infidelity, as was common in politically motivated royal marriages in much of world history.Pragma may not sound all that great to many, but it is possible for pragma to coexist alongside other types of love, such as ludus or even eros.
As you might have guessed, pragma is related to pragmatic, a word that is all about practicality.
philautia
Original Greek: ϕιλαυτία (philautía)
Philautia is self-love. No, not that kind. Philautia refers to how a person views themselves and how they feel about their own body and mind.
The modern equivalent of philautia would be something like self-esteem (good) or hubris (bad). People with high self-esteem, pride in themselves, or a positive body image practice a healthy version of philautia. Of course, philautia has a dark side, too. Egomaniacal narcissists who think they are better than everybody else are also an example of philautia, but not in a healthy way. The duality of philautia just goes to show that love, even self-love, can often get pretty complicated.
WOW.
And in today's world, "love is love is love."
NOT!!!!!
Currently, Miley Cyrus, (who I admit I am not a fan of in the least) has a trendy song out called, "Flowers." Anywhere from Tik Tok to the clock radio in the 10 year old girl's bedroom, you can hear the catchy, raspy- voiced song, filling your subconscious mind. Here is a sample of lyrics from Miley's song, Flowers:
Wow, Miley. Sounds like all you need is, you and your "self- love:" "Philautia." Your lyrics clearly show that past relationship hurt and trauma have turned you from "loving as Christ loves" to "loving as you want to be loved."
You. It's all about you, Miley.
The "eros" love you thought would sustain you for life failed you, and since Christ is obviously not a part of your life, you have succumbed to , you. The really sad thing here though, is that if we try to define all love into the category of eros, we not only get perversion, trauma, abuse, crime and confusion, but we also taint the beauty of TRUE love. Love that encompasses so much more than lust, and sex and eroticism. I personally see this confusion so obviously today between "eros" love and "philia" love. For example, when I was in college, I went to a VERY small Christian college of about 400 souls. I met my absolute best girl friends there, and three of them stood beside me on my wedding day, while another stood behind me as my personal attendant. I still talk to a few of them today multiple times per week, as we continue to make each other laugh and smile thinking about the "good ole days." I cannot thank God enough for those friendships of "philia" love. We were so, so close. We would hug and hold hands at times. We would laugh together, do tae-Bo together, drop water balloons out of our dorm window on the boys coming for supper in the cafeteria together, and even give each other full body massages on a night before a major exam, including candles and the soundtrack of "Titanic." Hahahah. Yet, there was NOTHING erotic, "eros" about ANY of this. We were so very close. We prayed together, cried together, and complained together. There was such a deep, loving bond, but it was NEVER an "eros" bond.
Ever.
When, where, and HOW did we start confusing these different versions of love?
Yes, this type of confusion has been happening since the Fall of man, but it was rare, and confined, because deep down, it was known that it wasn't right. Sin, leads to sin, leads to more sin, and when there is sin, and NO direction from the ONE thing that never changes, (God's Word), perversion twists and suffocates the truth.
As much we want to "instruct" the world as to what is true, and right , and good, nothing will change the hearts of man but God's Word. The clear message of that passage we all know so well: "For God so loved that World that He gave His one and Only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16.
Full. Stop.
Stop talking so much.
Stop thinking social media memes and posts will be the "thing" that finally opens the eyes of those who hate Jesus.
Stop arguing online. Or in person.
Stop trying to prove a point.
Stop losing sleep over where the world seems to be headed.
Stop thinking your human articulation will be the secret sauce that wins over the LGBTQ influencer.
Instead.
Preach. Christ. Crucified.
Because when you are shunned, and hated, and harassed for who you are and what you say, you will have a much easier time remembering the command of "be faithful," when you adhere to the Holy Scriptures.
"Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown." Revelation 2:10.
Our women's Bible study, Woven, as of next week, will be finishing a study of Revelation that we have been working on for almost TWO, (yes, I said two) years. We are ladies with husbands, and children, and jobs, and vacations , and pregnancies and all sorts of things that cause us NOT to take the life of the fast lane. We were privileged to study Revelation along side the book of the well respected Pastor/professor Siegbert Becker. (If you have not read any words by Pastor Siegbert Becker I HIGHLY recommend it).
Revelation is a book of hope, and love, and wisdom, and the fear of God. It is book that will bring you full circle to the remembrance that Christ has come, Christ is risen, Christ WILL come again.
We are in end times. We have been in end times. Yet, we are closer today than we have ever been. Do you even realize the gift you have been given, this day, in being an ambassador to the Savior of the world? We have been given the greatest gift, the greatest blessing, and the greatest command ever. Sam Smith and his satanic entourage at the Grammy Awards may be the biggest tabloid talk of the current day, but his would-be stunt was known since the beginning of Creation. It was just one blip in the kajillions? of sins that Jesus died for on Calvary.
As we celebrate another US holiday of "love is love is love" of candy and roses and expensive dinners out, please meditate on the beauty of Christ's love. The love that separates EIGHT kinds of feelings, respect and action. The love that separates self from sanctification, and sexuality from Salvation. Let this Valentine's Day fill you with the message of TRUE love:
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8
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